Sunday, October 6, 2013

Ten Ways to help control anger.

1.Take a 'timeout.' Although it may seem cliche, counting to ten before reacting really can defuse your temper. Proverbs 7:14--Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.
2. Get some space. Take a break from the person you're angry with until your frustrations subside a bit. Proverbs 20:3;  Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, But any fool will quarrel.

3. Once you're calm, express your anger. It's healthy to express your frustration in a non-confrontational way.

Stewing about it can make the situation worse. James 3:17; But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy
4. Get some exercise. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets.
1 Timothy 4:8; For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.
5. Think carefully before you say, text or email anything. Otherwise, you're likely to say something you'll regret. It can be helpful to write down what you want to say so that you can stick to the issues. When you're angry, it's easy to get sidetracked. Proverbs 15:28 ;The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, But the mouthof the wicked pours out evil things.
6. Identify solutions to the situation. Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work with the person who angered you to resolve the issue at hand; Matthew 18:15-17;  If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private ; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two ore three witnesses every fact must be confirmed.
7. Use "I" statements when describing the problem. This will help you to avoid criticizing or "placing blame," which can make the other person angry or resentful — and increase tension.          For instance, say, "I'm upset you didn't help with the housework this evening," instead of "you never help with the housework;" Ephesians 4:1-2; Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love.
8.Don't hold a grudge. As Christians we must forgive the other person, it will help you both. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want, Matthew 18:21-22; Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times ?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
9.Use humor to release tensions. Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don't use sarcasm, though, it can hurt feelings and make things worse( Proverbs 12:18),  There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing.
10. Practice relaxation skills. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper when it may flare up. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as "Take it easy."  Study the Bible and the fruit of the Holy Spirit.  Meditate on the privileges you have in Christ.  Other  ways to ease anger include listening to encouraging music, writing in a journal and reading the Psalms and Proverbs.
Psalm 1:1-3; How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Norsit in the seat of scoffers ! But his delight is n the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night. He will be like tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither ; And in whatever he does, he prospers.

The first numbered statements are  not my own but I cannot remember my source for them.  The Scriptures are ones that I have chosen for each point. Scriptures are taken from the New American Standard Bible (NASB).

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