Monday, December 11, 2017

Depression and Marriage, from the Wife's side.



A Dream Lost

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,
 declares the Lord,. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
 so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”
—Isaiah 55:8–9


"Robyn: “What Has Gone Wrong?”


“I can’t do it.”
“What do you mean, you ‘can’t do it’? You have to.”
“I can’t.”He looked at me with tears on his face; his hands turned upward. With a desperate, yet resolute shrug he repeated, “I just can’t.”












"What Marriage Was Supposed to Be"

On October 28, 1978, Steve and I made vows of love and commitment to each other. When we said those phrases about “sickness and health,” I envisioned carrying a cup of chicken noodle soup up a flight of stairs during the flu season.

For richer and poorer” meant “we probably won’t have a new car every year on a pastor’s salary.”
“For better or worse.” I guessed that had something to do with loving him before his morning shower. It all seemed simple enough. We were in love, and whatever happened, we’d manage it as a couple.




 At our wedding we lit one candle to replace our two individual candles. It was a beautiful demonstration that we were no longer two separate entities but now one unit, burning together, joined by God in magnificent marital “bliss.”


One of the things that attracted me to Steve was that he is a capable leader. He knew the Bible, and his life mirrored the things of the Lord. I was drawn by his wisdom, his sense of humor, and his sensitivity. For the first six years of our marriage, those attributes helped deepen my love for him. Along the way, God gave us three beautiful children. Steve completed seminary and a pastoral internship. He was ordained.
The preparations had seemed endless, but now we were ready.



What Marriage Was Becoming

So why, just two days before Steve’s final “candidating” visit to our dream church in central Florida, was I driving south on I-95 with our children asleep in the back seat?
More to the point, why was Steve flying twelve hundred miles north, alone and feeling desperate?
The big-picture reason for our sudden change in plans was that we live in a sin-cursed world and our bodies are subject to all kinds of disease. I didn’t see that big picture in 1985 as I drove along that highway. All I knew was that, somehow in God’s ultimate omniscient plan, Steve had developed something diagnosed as biological depression. This was not supposed to happen.

Stigma  and  Silence were  Still the Answer

man saying shush, stigma.jpg


Depression is still  stigmatized. It was more so in 1985, when Steve first became frighteningly ill. The stigma was worse because we lived in the world of conservative Christians. We had nowhere to turn in our confusion, for the help from Christian brothers and sisters came in the way of opinions as to what Steve’s “real problem” might be. Suggestions ranged from bad water to demon possession.


Was  it the End  for Us?

I was just deathly afraid that my husband would never recover, that he might shuffle around an institution wearing pajamas for the rest of his life. I had just turned thirty; he was twenty-nine, and life as we knew seemed to have ended.

Depression Misunderstood

As a child, Steve had no symptoms of depression. He was not the type who fought to get out of bed in the morning. He was not moody or negative. He whistled and sang, trusted the Lord, loved his family openly, and walked with God admirably.

This man now told me that he couldn’t accept a call to become pastor of the church in Florida. I was beyond angry. I was dumbfounded. How could he not accept what seemed so clearly to be God’s providential direction for our lives and ministry?

The blog from above is taken from our book, Broken Minds Hope for Healing When You Feel Like You're Losing It.  It is published by Kregel Publications of Grand Rapids, Michigan.



It was just a few months ago that we celebrated our thirty ninth marriage  anniversary  The Lord Jesus Christ remains the Head of our home..

Remember, mental illness and depression are treatable! If you want to learn more of our story, please go to our website.
Broken Minds will make a good present  for Christmas. You can get signed copy from Robyn and Steve. We will only charge you $13 .00 for a brand new copy and $.4.00 for shipping and handling. If you give the person's address that you want to give the book, we will wrap it and send it to the person.(  U.S only).( heartfeltmin.org/join-us.html ).You can buy on-line or by check, sending it our office, the address is on the above web page.




 Please make out the check to Robyn Bloem.
Broken Minds is also available in digital forms.

Friday, December 8, 2017

What do the statistics say? part 1

Do Statistics Matter?

Yes they matter very march.  They help you to get an overview on what types of mental illnesses there are, and and how prevalent mental illness is. When we see statics, we don't feel that we are so alone in this world. If you are in school, these statistics below could be quite useful. If you wish to speak somewhere and the subject is mental illness, some of the statistics below will be a good starting for you. I have listed all the sources. These give the statistics authority.  I have divided the blogs on this subject in two parts. SB

Anxiety Disorders

Anxiety disorders include panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and phobias (social phobia, agoraphobia, and specific phobia).
  • Approximately 40 million American adults ages 18 and older, or about 18.1 percent of people in this age group in a given year, have an anxiety disorder.1,2
  • Anxiety disorders frequently co-occur with depressive disorders or substance abuse.1
  • Most people with one anxiety disorder also have another anxiety disorder. Nearly three-quarters of those with an anxiety disorder will have their first episode by age 21.5 5

Panic Disorder

  • Approximately 6 million American adults ages 18 and older, or about 2.7 percent of people in this age group in a given year, have panic disorder.1, 2
  • Panic disorder typically develops in early adulthood (median age of onset is 24), but the age of onset extends throughout adulthood.5
  • About one in three people with panic disorder develops agoraphobia, a condition in which the individual becomes afraid of being in any place or situation where escape might be difficult or help unavailable in the event of a panic attack.12

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

  • Approximately 2.2 million American adults age 18 and older, or about 1.0 percent of people in this age group in a given year, have OCD.1, 2
  • The first symptoms of OCD often begin during childhood or adolescence, however, the median age of onset is 19.5

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

  • Approximately 7.7 million American adults age 18 and older, or about 3.5 percent of people in this age group in a given year, have PTSD.1, 2
  • PTSD can develop at any age, including childhood, but research shows that the median age of onset is 23 years.5
  • About 19 percent of Vietnam veterans experienced PTSD at some point after the war.13 The disorder also frequently occurs after violent personal assaults such as rape, mugging, or domestic violence; terrorism; natural or human-caused disasters; and accidents.
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  • Approximately 6.8 million American adults, or about 3.1 percent of people age 18 and over, have GAD in a given year.1, 2
  • GAD can begin across the life cycle, though the median age of onset is 31 years old.5

Agoraphobia
  • Approximately 1.8 million American adults age 18 and over, or about 0.8 percent of people in this age group in a given year, have agoraphobia without a history of panic disorder.1, 2
  • The median age of onset of agoraphobia is 20 years of age.5
Specific Phobia
  • Approximately 19.2 million American adults age 18 and over, or about 8.7 percent of people in this age group in a given year, have some type of specific phobia.1, 2
  • Specific phobia typically begins in childhood; the median age of onset is seven years.5 

Eating Disorders
  • In their lifetime, an estimated 0.6 percent of the adult population in the U.S. will suffer from anorexia, 1.0 percent from bulimia, and 2.8 percent from a binge eating disorder. 14
  • Women are much more likely than males to develop an eating disorder. They are three times as likely to experience anorexia (0.9 percent of women vs. 0.3 percent of men) and bulimia (1.5 percent of women vs. 0.5 percent of men) during their life. They are also 75 percent more likely to have a binge eating disorder (3.5 percent of women vs. 2.0 percent of men).14
  • The mortality rate among people with anorexia has been estimated at 0.56 percent per year, or approximately 5.6 percent per decade, which is about 12 times higher than the annual death rate due to all causes of death among females ages 15-24 in the general population.15
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
  • ADHD, one of the most common mental disorders in children and adolescents, also affects an estimated 4.1 percent of adults, ages 18-44, in a given year.1
  • ADHD usually becomes evident in preschool or early elementary years. The median age of onset of ADHD is seven years, although the disorder can persist into adolescence and occasionally into adulthood.5
Autism
  • Estimating the prevalence of autism is difficult and controversial due to differences in the ways that cases are identified and defined, differences in study methods, and changes in diagnostic criteria. A recent study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported the prevalence of autism among 8 year-olds to be about 1 in 110.16cc
  • Autism and other ASDs develop in childhood and genAutism is part of a group of disorders called autism spectrum disorders (ASDs), also known as pervasive developmental disorders. ASDs range in severity, with autism being the most debilitating form while other disorders, such as Asperger syndrome, produce milder symptoms.erally are diagnosed by age three.17
  • Autism is about four times more common in boys than girls. Girls with the disorder, however, tend to have more severe symptoms and greater cognitive impairment.16,17
Personality Disorders
Agoraphobia involves intense fear and anxiety of any place or situation where escape might be difficult, leading to avoidance of situations such as being alone outside of the home; traveling in a car, bus, or airplane; or being in a crowded area.5
Specific phobia involves marked and persistent fear and avoidance of a specific object or situation.
The three main types of eating disorders are anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge-eating disorder.
Personality disorders represent "an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it."4 These patterns tend to be fixed and consistent across situations and are typically perceived to be appropriate by the individual even though they may markedly affect their day-to-day life in negative ways. Among American adults ages 18 and over, an estimated 9.1% have a diagnosable personality disorder.18 Several more common personality disorders include:
Antisocial Personality Disorder
Antisocial personality disorder is characterized by an individuals disregard for social rules and cultural norms, impulsive behavior, and indifference to the rights and feelings of others.
  • Approximately 1.0 percent of people aged 18 or over have antisocial personality disorder.18
Avoidant Personality Disorder
Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social inhibition, sensitivity to negative evaluation, and feelings of inadequacy. Individuals with avoidant personality disorder frequently avoid social interaction for fear of being ridiculed, humiliated, or disliked.
  • An estimated 5.2 percent of people age 18 or older have an avoidant personality disorder.18

Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is defined by the DSM-IV as "a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image and affects, as well as marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts.”
  • Approximately 1.6 percent of Americans age 18 or older have BPD.18

Broken Minds will make a good present  for Christmas. You can get signed copy by both Robyn and me.  We will only charge you $13 .00 for a copy and $.4.00 for shipping and handling. If you give the person's address that you want to give the book, we will wrap it and send it to the person.  U.S. only.



References

1. Kessler RC, Chiu WT, Demler O, Walters EE. Prevalence, severity, and comorbidity of twelve-month DSM-IV disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication (NCS-R). Archives of General Psychiatry, 2005 Jun;62(6):617-27.
2. U.S. Census Bureau Population Estimates by Demographic Characteristics. Table 2: Annual Estimates of the Population by Selected Age Groups and Sex for the United States: April 1, 2000 to July 1, 2004 (NC-EST2004-02) Source: Population Division, U.S. Census Bureau Release Date: June 9, 2005. http://www.census.gov/popest/national/asrh/
3. The World Health Organization. The global burden of disease: 2004 update, Table A2: Burden of disease in DALYs by cause, sex and income group in WHO regions, estimates for 2004. Geneva, Switzerland: WHO, 2008. http://www.who.int/healthinfo/global_burden_disease/GBD_report_2004update_AnnexA.pdf.
4. American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual on Mental Disorders, fourth edition (DSM-IV). Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Press, 1994.
5. Kessler RC, Berglund PA, Demler O, Jin R, Walters EE. Lifetime prevalence and age-of-onset distributions of DSM-IV disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication (NCS-R). Archives of General Psychiatry. 2005 Jun;62(6):593-602.
6. Kessler RC, Berglund P, Demler O, Jin R, Koretz D, Merikangas KR, Rush AJ, Walters EE, Wang PS. The epidemiology of major depressive disorder: results from the National Comorbidity Survey Replication (NCS-R). Journal of the American Medical Association, 2003; Jun 18;289(23):3095-105.
7. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control. Web-based Injury Statistics Query and Reporting System (WISQARS) : www.cdc.gov/ncipc/wisqars  accessed April 2010.
8. Conwell Y, Brent D. Suicide and aging I: patterns of psychiatric diagnosis. International Psychogeriatrics, 1995; 7(2): 149-64.
9. Kochanek KD, Murphy SL, Anderson RN, Scott C. Deaths: final data for 2002. National Vital Statistics Reports. 2004 Oct 12;53 (5):1-115.
10. Weissman MM, Bland RC, Canino GJ, et al. Prevalence of suicide ideation and suicide attempts in nine countries. Psychological Medicine, 1999; 29(1): 9-17.
11. Regier DA, Narrow WE, Rae DS, Manderscheid RW, Locke BZ, Goodwin FK. The de facto mental and addictive disorders service system. Epidemiologic Catchment Area prospective 1-year prevalence rates of disorders and services. Archives of General Psychiatry. 1993 Feb;50(2):85-94.
12. Robins LN, Regier DA, eds. Psychiatric disorders in America: the Epidemiologic Catchment Area Study. New York: The Free Press, 1991.
13. Dohrenwend BP, Turner JB, Turse NA, Adams BG, Koen KC, Marshall R. The psychological risk of Vietnam for U.S. veterans: A revist with new data and methods. Science. 2006; 313(5789):979-982.
14. Hudson JI, Hiripi E, Pope HG, Kessler RC. The prevalence and correlates of eating disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. Biol Psychiatry. 2007; 61:348-58.
15. Sullivan PF. Mortality in anorexia nervosa. American Journal of Psychiatry. 1995 Jul;152(7):1073-4.
16. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Prevalence of Autism Spectrum Disorders―Autism and Developmental Disabilities Monitoring Network, United States, 2006. MMWR Surveillance Summaries 2009;58(SS-10)
17. Fombonne E. Epidemiology of autism and related conditions. In: Volkmar FR, ed. Autism and pervasive developmental disorders. Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press, 1998; 32-63.
18. Lenzenweger, M.F., Lane, M.C., Loranger, A.W., Kessler, R.C. (2007). DSM-IV personality disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. Biological Psychiatry, 62(6), 553-564.

Monday, December 4, 2017

Is there a connection with sexual immorality and not helping homeless people?

In Sodom, those who were not in the mainstream were taken advantage of or ignored.


This is a repost

copyright, December  2017


Image result for sodom and gomorrah


 Sexual sin was not the only sin of Sodom. When most Evangelicals think of Sodom and her sin, they think of sexual immorality. The Scriptures make it clear that the sexual sin of the city and its neighboring Gomorrah was very great (see Genesis 19). But according to God's prophet, Ezekiel, there was more that displeased a holy God than that particular sin. Ezekiel 16:49, 50 tells us,Behold this was the guilt of your sister Sodomshe and her daughters had arrogance, abundant food, and careless ease, but she did not help the poor and needy. Thus they were haughty and committed abominations before Me. Therefore I removed them when I saw it (NASB).

 The above Hebrew word for careless ease, shaquat, means to "be at quiet, tranquil, to be at peace." The Theological Word Book of the Old Testament states, “the word careless  ease in the Ezekiel text overlaps with the word 'security' (betah) which is a feeling of confidence." 



 Willful ignorance of the poor and needy
People in Sodom simply walked by the poor. The word Ezekiel uses in Ezekiel 16:49 for help, means literally, "to seize by the hand and set up again." In their insatiable lust and greed they did not reach out and lift up the sick, the afflicted and the poor. The word for "poor" means to find oneselfoppressed, afflicted and wretched. The word "needy" connotes having no clothes, no land and no food.These commands to help the poor, the weak, and the needy are through out the Old Testament.

Please also note that the prophet calls the nation of Judah, Sodom's sister.  The nation from which Jesus Christ would come was committing all kinds of the sins of the flesh and the spirit.  Their guilt was worse because they sinned against God's revelation, through the temple and the prophets and the written word of God.

Sodom had its good times; the best of times. Again like many today, they had the attitude of "Come on; let's party!" There was plenty of apathy toward the poor and needy in the city of Sodom and her daughter cities. Pleasure and the absence of pain were the ultimate objective of life for these cities. The outcome was an ethical and psychological hedonism at its worst. Those who were not in the mainstream were taken advantage of or ignored. Does this sound familiar to you?

 



End of the Year Donation
 It is time for an end-of-the-year donor letter. In the past we have received many  needed  donations in the months of November and December.   
Mental Illness in the United States affects one in every four people. Treating mental illness is expensive.  Most of our clients pay about thirty dollars an hour for Biblical and clinical Counseling. Many counselors charge anywhere from $100-$150 dollars an hour for counseling.  
Because of your gifts suffering people will be helped. We are a 501 (c) (3) non-profit -tax free  agency registered with the IRS. In our  thirteen years of existence, we have never turned any one away because of finances.This is true whether it is counseling, seminars, or support groups.  If you wish to give by check or through pay pal, please click on the following link.. below  http://heartfeltmin.org/join-us.html  Thanks SB



Saturday, December 2, 2017

Watch what happens in this mall in Germany!

UNDAY, DECEMBER 4, 2016


Hark the Herald Angels Sing

Image result for charles wesley

In my opinion, Charles Wesley was one of the greatest hymn writers of all time. He was said to have averaged ten poetic lines a day for fifty years. He wrote 8,989 hymns, ten times the volume composed by the only other candidate (Isaac Watts). He composed some of the most memorable and lasting hymns of the church: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing," "And Can It Be," "O for a Thousand Tongues to Sing," "Love Divine, All Loves Excelling," "Jesus, Lover of My Soul," "Christ the Lord Is Risen Today," "Soldiers of Christ, Arise," and "Rejoice! the Lord Is King!" And yet he is often referred to as the "forgotten Wesley."


 Image result for john wesley

His brother John is considered the organizational genius behind the founding of Methodism. But without the hymns of Charles, the Methodist movement may have gone nowhere. As one historian put it, "The early Methodists were taught and led as much through [Charles's] hymns as through sermons and [John] Wesley's pamphlets.
"For the rest of this very informative article, go:to: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ch/131christians/poet/charleswesley.html

There are many Christmas "stealer's" these days.  One of them is the Christmas spirit. Another is crass materialism.  And then there is the hideous phrase, Xmas. You can bet that  the demons of Hell have for many years introduced ways to take the Christ out of Christmas.


Now you have to go to a You tube post to see a flash mob sing Hark the Herald Angels Sing.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7FnWOo14xo 
.  
End of the Year Donation
 It is time for an end-of-the-year donor letter. In the past we have received many  needed  donations in the months of November and December.   
Mental Illness in the United States affects one in every four people. Treating mental illness is expensive.  Most of our clients pay about thirty dollars an hour for Biblical and clinical Counseling. Many counselors charge anywhere from $100-$150 dollars an hour for counseling.  
Because of your gifts suffering people will be helped. We are a 501 (c) (3) non-profit -tax free  agency registered with the IRS. In our  thirteen years of existence, we have never turned any one away because of finances.This is true whether it is counseling, seminars, or support groups.  If you wish to give by check or through pay pal, please click on the following link.. below  http://heartfeltmin.org/join-us.html  Thanks SB

Monday, November 27, 2017

Are you at the end of your rope because of depression, panic disorder, bipolar, etc.? I have been there!

Copyright 2017, Steve Bloem

Depression and mental illness are "brain storms." The name came from J.Styron in his book, Darkness Visible, a Memoir of Madness.




As I look back on my life (I am sixty-two years old), I am amazed that I am still alive! In my early days, (when I was just twenty-nine), the intensity of my depression was horrible. You may say, "Oh,depression does not seem to be so bad." This tells me you have never experienced it. I am not talking about a disappointment you may have had or even spiritual depression.

If you consented to an injection which would make you depressed, you would know some of the horror and debilitating effects of this mental torture. The pain is beyond description, the black hole has no bottom. Proverbs 18:14 says, "The spirit of a man can sustain his sickness but a wounded  spirit who can bear?"

The detachment from everyone that I met when I was in a depressive episode was real. The bone-crushing anxiety and surging waves of sorrow that break over the depressed person's head are not a sign of failure but rather a harbinger of usefulness. While in a depressive episode, suicide was just a step away. But God rescued me and He can rescue you from the jaws of death. Whether or not you realize this, having a mental illness is not time wasted. As a child of God,  He will use it to make you be conformed to the image of Christ  and a better woman or man.  The order of the day is persevere in tribulation.This does not mean will you not seek  medical interventions. God has enabled men and women the knowledge and training to discover remedies for many diseases; mental illnesses are among those.

 One Scripture that really was a help to me;
"You made men ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water, yet You brought us out into a place of abundance"  (Psalm 66:12, NASB).





Image result for old ship in trouble on the sea



Here are words of a believer in Christ, who suffered greatly. His admonition was very helpful for me as I determined by God's grace to "fight the good fight of faith!"


"In fierce storms," said an old seaman, "we must do one thing; there is only one way, we must put the ship in a certain position and keep her there." Christian, this is what you must do. Sometimes, like Paul, you can see neither sun nor stars, and no small tempest lies on you; and then you can do but one thing; there is only one way. Reason cannot help you, past experiences give you no light, even prayer seems to fetch no consolation. Only a single course is left. You must put your soul in one position and keep it there. You must stay upon the Lord; and come what may--winds, waves, cross-seas, thunder, lightning, frowning rocks, roaring breakers--no matter what, you must lash yourself to the helm, and hold fast your confidence in God's faithfulness, His covenant engagement, and His everlasting love in Christ Jesus. --Richard Fuller


 





End of the Year Donation


Greetings!   It is time for an end-of-the-year donor reminder. In the past we have received about fifty percent of our yearly donations in the months of November and December.  
Thanks to our supporters, we provided over 260 hours of free counseling last year plus discounted rates for 75% of our clients.  If you suffer from bipolar disorder, panic disorder, obsessive/compulsive disorder, schizophrenia or depression, you are not alone.  These worldwide afflictions are a result of the fall of man.

 Mental Illness in the United States affects one in every four people. Treating mental illness is expensive.  Many counselors charge from one hundred to one hundred fifty dollars an hour for counseling. Most of our clients, pay about zero to  thirty dollars an hour for Biblical and clinical counseling.  We counsel people from all over the world.  Because of your gifts, counseling scholarships have been set up and lives have been saved..

 We are a 501 (c) (3) non-profit- agency registered as a religious charity with the IRS. If you give to Heartfelt and are part of the U.S.A. or U.S. territories  your donations are tax deductible.  In our twelve years of existence, we have never turned anyone away because of there inability to pay for our services. This is true, whether it is counseling, seminars or  the hosting of support groups.
Robyn and I serve a loving, compassionate Father and share His love for the poor and those who are in need.

Heartfelt Counseling Ministries serves as an international  agency.
If you live in other countries, you are usually able to support us, buy books from us or pay  for counseling on our website.  This is because we use PayPal for financial purposes.



I hope you can give a gift of any kind this year..  You can donate by check or go online; either way, if you go to our website, you will find our mailing address or the donate now button. We thank you in advance as you help us help others! http://heartfeltmin.org/join-us.html  



https://www.amazon.com/Broken-Minds-Healing-Youre-Losing/dp/0825421187


Thanks and Merry Christmas! 
Steve and Robyn