Guest blogger Robyn Bloem
"I saw on the news this morning that some of the grief-struck parents are irate that the theatre where that "other" massive shooting took place in Aurora, CO is hosting a memorial for the families and offering tickets to go. They see it as a place of horror and do not want to return to that scene. They feel the gesture as insensitive and totally out of line. Then we have other families who return to "Ground Zero" in NY or go out on the open seas where a ship sunk to remember and lament. What is the difference? I think, for one thing, no two people react the same way AT THE SAME TIME and also, grieving is a prolonged period of ups and downs. Maybe these parents are just not ready yet or for the same reason that marriages are so strained after the death of a child; no one can do ANYTHING right or offer any remedy to the heart break. If this same theatre did nothing, that would be "wrong," too in the eyes of the grieving. I knew my friends were condemned if they did and condemned if they didn't. I was a total wreck of emotional inconsistency. Horrendous pain requires faithful, tough friends who love us anyway...I had a few of those and surprisingly enough, lost "friends" who left me in my solitude of sadness. Parental grievers don’t want to be a burden: we just are. And speaking for the sad and in honor of the hangers-on, we thank you. Don’t be too hard on these suffering families or on those who reach out and perhaps do the “wrong” thing. Death of a child is sticky business and we all go a little off our rockers!
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Steve, Lindsay and Robyn Bloem